i can't...

...I have rehearsal. And all my time has become consumed.

The singing for The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is far more difficult than I originally imagined. Maybe it's because I'm out of practice. Maybe it's because I haven't sang choral or a cappella music for nearly a year now. Likely it's both of those. Regardless, I am loving it.

Having been recast as a dancer for Cinderella is also not turning out to be the way I would have assumed. I'm reconfiguring my body into lines I've never seen on myself, and I'm being told to perform dance moves I've never heard of. Yet no one in the dancing ensemble can tell that I've only done little more than a pivot and jazz hands on a stage before. My hips are bruised, my muscles are sore, but my heart is leaping. Now if only I could get my legs to do the same.

It's true that I'm very tired and my time is very limited. With two shows in currently in progress, my calendar is filling up with rehearsals faster than I can write them down. Between now and the end of July, I only get six days off, five of which are in June. I will spend Independence Day inside Kofman Theatre, and my holiday actually will fall on July 6. It will surely get crazier once my third show begins at the end of this month. The trade off: I'm happy, I eat less junk food, I'm exercising more in one night than I normally would have in three, and I have a limitless amount of energy, despite the time and effort I am putting into rehearsals. I've spent the last few days with a ridiculous grin on my face, similar to the one Keri Russell wore in the movie Waitress, and people are noticing.

I wish that my "real life" could be an endless series of rehearsals punctuated by opening galas, Sunday matinees, and closing performances. Oh, if only.