life.unscripted: happy independence

Living on my own - and I mean really living on my own - for the past two and a half months has been an incredible learning experience.

Well, duh.

I guess I'll elaborate.

When I made the decision to move here, I wanted to start from scratch. No friends, no contacts, no real knowledge of where I was going. All my history was left back home in California. Once I arrived in New York, I had the opportunity to begin the second volume of my life - recreating characters, building new environments, stumbling upon an entirely different set of conflicts. It's amazing to see the kinds of things that can come about when you put yourself in an unfamiliar setting. I am surrounded by strangers, all of which have something to offer and are looking for something to take. As I sift through the unknown to try and find some stability, I begin to understand my strengths and values and what I have to give to this place. The learning in itself is exhilarating.

That being said, I have made some recent and delightful discoveries in the past few weeks:

1) I am more tough skinned than I would have thought. Whether this is something I always had in me or whether this is something New York forced upon me, I can't really tell. Probably a little bit of both. But go ahead and tell me I suck. I can take it. Because what you think of me will not diminish what I think of myself. Besides, I think you suck too.

2) I am not ashamed of my mistakes. I'm human, so I don't know all there is to know about the world. If I mess up, whatever. Now I know what to do in the future.

3) I have a lot to offer in a relationship. And if you can't see that, well, I'll find someone else who can.

Self discovery is a wonderful thing.

...

I spent the 4th of July sick with a stomach bug, but I managed to host a potluck at my apartment regardless. My new friends from AMDA came over and spent the afternoon barbecuing and taking a much needed break after a grueling first week at school - the program is incredibly intense, but I'll save that for my next post. Afterwards, we headed midtown, where we watched the fireworks on a jam packed street corner in the summer rain. It could have been miserable, but seeing as it was the first fireworks display most of us had seen in New York City, nothing would have diminished our joy and excitement.

Fireworks!

Loving the show

Soaked from the rain, but we don't really mind

A few other firsts I have neglected to write about until now:

During my fourth week in New York, I was evacuated off a subway train at 11:30 pm. On my way home from work (at the old job), a suicide jumper got trapped under the train I was riding. I later found out he survived and was treated at a local hospital for traumatic cardiac arrest.

One night, walking home from the subway station, a flash of light zoomed in front of me at about waist level. I stopped dead in my tracks, wondering if I was seeing things, then I realized I had just seen a firefly for the very first time. So peculiar.

I woke up two nights ago, at 3:42 in the morning, to the sound of an incessant car horn, flashing lights, and the smell of smoked. I peeked outside and saw flames ascending from directly below my window. It was a car fire. About 60 feet below me.

Lexie and I joined her roommate and some of his friends to attend our first free summertime event: The Man Who Came to Dinner at Bryant Park, a part of the summer movie series hosted by HBO. It was ridiculously fun.