okay, wow

It's been way too long since my last post. There's been a lot going on lately, and I'll try to recapture it as best as I can.

Since I put in my notice to leave work, I've been relegated to administrative duties in the office at the Union Square location. Basically, I spend eight hours a day filing paperwork, doing telemarketing research, and answering phones. The last three weeks have put me on the edge of sanity, and the work I'm doing has served as a daunting reminder of what I should never ever do with my life. I'm not made to work in an office, and as scary as the prospect of instability is, I must avoid administrative and business work if I want my life to have any smidgen of happiness in it. That being said, these last few days have been torture. But I constantly remind myself of my need for cash, especially since the flow of it will come to a near halt in the next few weeks until I start getting paid for being an actor. Which, by the way, still ceases to amaze me.

I'm making plans for the future. Miami is just a temporary thing, and unless something miraculous happens, I'm definitely returning to New York. But not without a nice long vacation in Mexico before then, of course. When I get back to the city, I'll be looking for a place to live and hopefully, I'll have saved enough money to refrain from working for a while so I can focus on auditioning. Ideally, I'll book another job, either a regional theater show or a tour, so I'll be out and seeing more of the country while gaining experience and hopefully more points toward joining Equity. If I do need a survival job, I'll probably go back to serving or doing something else that will allow me to work part-time in the evenings and still audition during the day. This whole Catering Manager experience has reminded me that acting must remain my primary focus. Moving out of my apartment will help with that by reducing my living costs and eliminating the need for me to work full-time. So that's that.

I'm nearly finished moving out of my apartment. With the help of some friends, I transported all my stuff yesterday from my apartment to Rubria's apartment, a few blocks northwest of mine. Afterwards, we spent the afternoon painting my lively bedroom back to white in preparation for the termination of my lease and my final official move out in May. I've just got a few more things to send Rubria's way Wednesday afternoon, right before I leave for California. I've been getting nostalgic lately, thinking of how life was when I first ventured into the big city. A lot has changed since then, but the one thing that's held fast, despite the many challenges that have been thrown my way, is my determination in fulfilling my dreams. Thank goodness for that.

I'm really looking forward to going home, especially because I wasn't able to this holiday season. I think it will be the recharge I need just before I head off to Miami. I've got a lot planned, though I still intend on it to be a relaxing visit. As the months move on, I see myself simultaneously detaching and clinging on to home more and more. Sounds like a paradox, but the truth is, while I am growing up and finding my independence here in New York, it's made me more appreciative of everything I learned and had back home. It's a nice feeling, and definitely a continual growing experience.

After the trip, I've got a few days back in New York to prep for Miami and unwind and enjoy my last days of winter. Also, my friends and I put together a showcase, "A Standard Night in New York," which we're performing the last weekend I'm in town. We'll be doing jazz and pop standards from the 1920s-1950s, accompanied by one of our former class music directors. Rehearsals are going extremely well, and we are all proud of the work we've done not only in preparing our material, but in putting a show together by ourselves as well. It goes to show that if you're truly passionate about what you do, you can make anything happen.

Finally, I've got a little pet project I'm working on. Project 365, introduced to me by my sister, encourages participants to document a year-in-the-life with by taking one photograph every day. My sister and I are simultaneously working on the project and posting our pictures via Facebook every few days or so. In the end, you'll get a wonderful overview of the year that passed. I like it because it forces me to take pictures, which I feel that I do not do enough of. More than that, though, it's helping me live a life of gratitude. Sometimes I feel like my days are meaningless and I'm headed towards nothing. But this project is helping me find noteworthy moments in even the most simple of days. Those moments also have a big influence in the person I am becoming, and it's nice to be able to capture them.

View my progress: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2581747&id=1204954&l=d4bed45e35

That's all for now. More to come from, or after, California!