10.29.2006

past and present

It's curious how one weekend can provide so many moments of refreshing clarity.
...

I attended the West Coast A Cappella Showcase on Friday night, mostly to see how AiR was doing. I thought the group was progressing very well. This year, their style and character differs from any of the years I spent with the group, and it was interesting to see how the personalities of this year's group members influenced their overall look. They sounded good for it being their first concert, and I really enjoyed their performance.

On the whole, the Showcase was not as great as I had hoped it would be. Perhaps I'm being overly critical as a former Music Director. Perhaps not. Eh. At least it gave me something to do for the evening.

...

I've always considered the Showcase as a sort of a cappella reunion because so many alumns come out to watch. I ran into many people I had known from the a cappella circut while I was in school, and we all did the usual and requiste "how are you, and what have you been up to lately?" questioning. Hugs were exchanged, both false and genuine, and some broken relationships began to mend themselves.

I wish we could have talked more. Who knows when we'll see each other again?

She's nice, and I hope to run into her again sometime.

Maybe I shouldn't have talked to you. But I'm kind of a push over, and I believe that in time, things will be okay between us.

Remember that thing that happened? Well, it's done, and I'm done dealing with you.

Others, not so much.

...

After Friday night's show, I ventured over to one of the current AiR member's apartments on Southside to hang out with the group for a while. As people discussed the performance, the stresses and joys of being in the group, and college life in general, a comforting realization came over me. Though I still felt detached, it wasn't in that sad or angry way I was feeling earlier in the year. This time around, I am happy and comfortable with the direction my life is going.

I grew up. I guess that means I'm a grown-up now.

...

Last night, I attended a Halloween Party hosted by some of my co-workers at ETP. I debated for a long time whether or not I should attend because it would be on the same night as the West Coast A Cappella Showcase after party, which I had previously planned on going to with AiR. But when the time came to get ready for the evening, I chose to put on my Halloween costume and MapQuest my way to the party in the city. Having spent the previous night with AiR, I didn't feel like recounting my post-collegiate experiences to 50 more people. And though I know many of the people who would be going to the after party, the level of understanding that lies between me and them has shifted, and we have much less to relate to these days.

Circling the block of my co-workers' apartment and searching for parking, I began to feel nervous and question whether or not I had made the right decision. Though many of my co-workers would be there, I had not seen most of them outside of work, let alone in a social environment. I also felt kind of stupid since I had arrived by myself. But then I thought of how much more stupid I would feel if I just went home, considering I spent so much time getting ready and driving all the way out to San Francisco. I parked, sucked it up, and put on my smiley face.

I timidly entered the apartment and was surprised by how many people were excited to see me. I was given a tour and ushered to the refreshments table. As soon as I got settled and explained my Hogwarts student costume (which, tonight, came complete with a bookbag, wand, and two text books - Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them), I was pulled into the living room, where my co-workers and I danced, sang, and laughed the next two hours away. I had a blast and a half and congratulated myself on my excellent decision making skills.

2 comments:

MattK (Section 2) said...

Glad you had fun, you didn't miss much with the WCAS after party. Besides the odd congratulations, and praises of solos that were never even performed, it was uneventful... A college party like any other that was happening that night in Berkeley.

Brian said...

It wasn't because you were music manager, the show was bad. People didn't bring their A game, I would say it was more B- game. I wish I got to see you more, but thats what they all say right? I'm glad we still talk on the phone and read each other's journals in the mean time ;).